The answer
No. On film the trainers draw a line between what they will fight about and what they will let go, and they say where the line sits. Egg's trainer puts it most plainly on a woodland walk: a slow sit or a slow down is "not a big deal" because "we're not in this for aesthetics", but the recall "needs to be instant" because it is very often life or death for a dog - "so you've got to kind of pick your battles and choose what you want to fight about." The things the trainers let go, across several dogs, are small and safe: a sit that melts into a down (Penny, Pepper, Piglet, Thor), sitting before a door (Roxy: "Personal preference. Doesn't matter to me"), a dog looking at a squirrel (Rocky). The things they do not let go are the recall, chasing bikes (Rocky: "don't even start doing that"), and any command that has actually been given.
That last point is the working rule, and Kelton gives it at Archie and Lola's second lesson: you can let a dog make her own choice and say nothing, "but if you do say come, got to back it up. Now you're stuck." His comparison is telling a child not to do something you did not really care about, and then being locked into a fight you never wanted. So picking your battles happens before you speak: if you do not care whether he sits or lies down, do not make it a command you then fail to finish. The trainers also ask families to choose on day one, because a standard that changes after a week at home is "a lot trickier" to bring in (Archie and Lola's go-home).
The name comes from Bernie, and the moment in Bernie's file is a different and narrower thing. On his second day the trainer tries to get him to follow him up onto something on a trail, sees that Bernie does not want to, and stops: "this is not worth it ... I'll pick your battles and that one's not something I care about ... He does not feel comfortable. The wider rule - choose what you fight for - is stated, not inferred, with Egg, Archie and Lola, Penny, Pepper, Roxy, Thor and Rocky.
Not every trainer draws the line in the same place. Baxter's trainer argues the opposite direction: punishing small things is worth it "so that when it is a big deal, they listen." Dolce's handler would not allow an immediate down on a sit. Those positions are set out under conflicts, not settled here.
Angier K9 is a family-owned, play-based Board & Train serving Angier, Raleigh and the Triangle, with three full owner lessons.
What the trainers say
All right, you know what this is not worth it
Yeah, I'll pick your battles and that one's not something I care about
He does not feel comfortable. So we will leave it alone
We want them to be free. And you need an absolutely sickeningly, sickeningly reliable recall in order for them to have that freedom and to be safe.
needs to be beautiful and instant for other stuff if they sit a little slower they're down a little slow because they just like that right it's not a big deal like we're not in this for aesthetics
That might mean they have a slow, slow, slow, slow ass down and a slow sit. I don't care.
But their recall needs to be instant. So you've got to kind of pick your battles and choose what you want to fight about. And that's something I'm willing to fight about with a dog, so to speak, metaphorically speaking.
So, you can give the choice point and just let her do whatever she's doing. That's totally fine. And then if you want to recall, the only thing is if you do say come, got to back it up. Now you're Now you're stuck.
It's kind of like you tell a kid like don't do that and then they go to do it and you're like but you and then like afterwards you're like well I I don't even care if they do it or not.
I've just now locked myself in to like making sure they do this thing that I don't care if they do or not and they don't want to do it and now they're like crying. Why did I say anything?
every time they come to the house i tell people i can correct it or if you don't care yeah that's fine i don't care if he lays down or sits do you care if he lays down or sits
you go the whole week and you're cool with it and then randomly you're like you know what i want it it to be different yeah it's gonna be a lot trickier than if it's like day one back home
it's something that i i don't worry about the sit to the down as much like if they're like gonna sit for a while and then they're like dude i'm tired okay super disobedient no well and it's just something that practically speaking doesn't matter to me that much
i always tell my clients like hey my dog i don't care if i tell them to sit they sit they look around and they go it might be a while and they lay down i really don't care because they're still there
All right, I don't care. I don't care if you're down, honestly. It's not that important.
most people honestly like if you ask him to sit and he lays down it's like okay you just want him to like stay in one place that's why people normally use it um so it's not that important okay for most people okay come on but I like to try to get the distinction
Is it a good habit to have them like sit throw the door? Doesn't matter. Personal preference. Doesn't matter to me.
actually um and most of it depends on whether or not do you care if he jumps on you sometimes
i need you to yeah it's like hey like you can go look at the squirrel but if i say come come right now you got to come right now
but with the bike thing it's like don't even start doing that
If I put her in a command and truthfully, I really should have corrected what she got up there
But I was like, it's not worth the fight.
How it looks, dog by dog
Bernie
Bernie is on the second day of his board-and-train, on an evening trail walk. The trainer climbs up onto something and coaxes Bernie to follow ('Come follow me ... You can do it'), then stops: it is 'not worth it', it is 'not something I care about', and 'He does not feel comfortable. So we will leave it alone.' The walk goes straight on to a recall and a sit. His case file notes it is the only moment in the program where the trainer backs off, and that he says why. The same walk is the one where recall and down are pushed through with taps and guidance, so the backing off is selective, not general: the climb was optional, the recall was not.
On film
Dude look look look I'll come up here
All right, you know what this is not worth it
Yeah, I'll pick your battles and that one's not something I care about
He does not feel comfortable. So we will leave it alone
I want that recall to be solid.
he's figuring it out figuring it out that was very very little negative
Egg
The rule stated as a rule. On a long woodland walk the trainer explains to the camera why the recall gets everything: dogs should be free, freedom needs a 'sickeningly reliable recall', and for dogs it is very often life or death. Against that, a slow sit or a slow down is not worth fighting over - 'we're not in this for aesthetics', the aim is functional training - 'so you've got to kind of pick your battles and choose what you want to fight about.' He goes straight back to heel work. The page ends where Egg's footage ends.
On film
We want them to be free. And you need an absolutely sickeningly, sickeningly reliable recall in order for them to have that freedom and to be safe.
needs to be beautiful and instant for other stuff if they sit a little slower they're down a little slow because they just like that right it's not a big deal like we're not in this for aesthetics
But their recall needs to be instant. So you've got to kind of pick your battles and choose what you want to fight about.
Lola
The operating rule, from the Archie and Lola household. At the second in-program lesson Kelton explains that a choice point can be left alone - let her do what she is doing - but the moment you say 'come' you have to back it up. He compares it to telling a child not to do something you did not really care about and then being locked into enforcing it. At the go-home lesson the trainer turns it into a question for the family about Archie: do you care whether he sits or lies down? Either answer is fine, but choose now, because changing the standard after a week at home is harder than setting it on day one. One line is not negotiable even there: a sit offered for a down is corrected, because down is 'its own thing'.
On film
So, you can give the choice point and just let her do whatever she's doing. That's totally fine. And then if you want to recall, the only thing is if you do say come, got to back it up. Now you're Now you're stuck.
I've just now locked myself in to like making sure they do this thing that I don't care if they do or not and they don't want to do it and now they're like crying. Why did I say anything?
every time they come to the house i tell people i can correct it or if you don't care yeah that's fine i don't care if he lays down or sits do you care if he lays down or sits
is just like if he sits instead of downs you do have to correct that yes because you don't want that to happen because down is like its own thing
Penny
At Penny's go-home lesson she lies down out of a sit and neither Kelton nor the owners can remember whether a sit was even asked for. Kelton says the sit-to-down slide is something he does not worry about much - a dog that has sat for a while and gets tired is not 'super disobedient' - and that holding the sit would technically be ideal if the family wants it.
On film
it's something that i i don't worry about the sit to the down as much like if they're like gonna sit for a while and then they're like dude i'm tired okay super disobedient no well and it's just something that practically speaking doesn't matter to me that much
just something that practically speaking doesn't matter to me that much yeah if you want to like make sure that they're in the set then yeah do it right um that would technically be ideal
Pepper
At Pepper's second in-program lesson the trainer warns that she sits and then lies down because she expects to wait, says he tells clients he does not care about that with his own dog, and then hands the choice to the owner: if you want to be strict, put her back in the sit every time. The owner answers that she would not care, because Pepper listened first.
On film
i always tell my clients like hey my dog i don't care if i tell them to sit they sit they look around and they go it might be a while and they lay down i really don't care because they're still there
now if you want to be really strict about it and you're like no I told you to sit and I don't want you laying down I want you to stay sitting right then all you're gonna do is like you're gonna do it
like if i was to tell her to sit and she sat and then immediately down you know i wouldn't care okay because she listened initially
Piglet
On an evening town walk Piglet offers a down for a sit. The trainer lets it stand in the moment ('It's not that important') and moves on to heel. Her case file shows the same skill being cleaned up later, on a trail, by asking for the position she is not expecting - letting it go once was not the same as never teaching it.
On film
Sit, sit, not down, sit, there you go.
All right, I don't care. I don't care if you're down, honestly. It's not that important.
Thor
At Thor's go-home lesson Kelton treats a down for a sit as confusion, not rebellion: he corrects it without punishing it, says it is not that important for most people, who only want the dog to stay in one place, and adds that he still likes to get the distinction. Letting it matter less is not the same as not teaching it.
On film
so I just correct it I don't punish it because it's more just a confused thing
most people honestly like if you ask him to sit and he lays down it's like okay you just want him to like stay in one place that's why people normally use it um so it's not that important okay for most people okay come on but I like to try to get the distinction
Roxy
At Roxy and Ramsey's second in-program lesson the family asks whether making the dogs sit at the door is a good habit. Kelton: 'Doesn't matter. Personal preference.' It helps if you never want them to bolt, but the other way is simply to stop a bolt when it starts and tap the e-collar, so they learn to wait. The battle that matters is the bolt, not the sit.
On film
Is it a good habit to have them like sit throw the door? Doesn't matter. Personal preference. Doesn't matter to me.
It can be if you don't want them to ever bolt through the door. Um, the other way to do it though is just to like if they go to bolt through the door, just like prevent them and go tap E.
Rocky
Two lessons with Rocky's owner show the line drawn behaviour by behaviour. At the in-program lesson the trainer starts the jumping question by asking whether the owner minds being jumped on, because most of the answer depends on that. At the follow-up walk: looking at a squirrel is allowed, but 'come' means now, with no looking first; chasing bikes is not to be started at all.
On film
actually um and most of it depends on whether or not do you care if he jumps on you sometimes
i need you to yeah it's like hey like you can go look at the squirrel but if i say come come right now you got to come right now
but with the bike thing it's like don't even start doing that
Lunna
The cost of letting a given command go, in the trainer's own words. In an outdoor session near the end of her program Lunna keeps getting up from a sit. The trainer says she has to learn that she cannot keep doing that, then admits that he really should have corrected it and had decided 'it's not worth the fight'. By the rule Kelton gives at Lola's lesson, a command already given is not the place to pick a battle away; the trainer here reaches the same verdict on himself.
On film
She needs to know that like it's not cool like she can't keep getting up and doing her thing
If I put her in a command and truthfully, I really should have corrected what she got up there
But I was like, it's not worth the fight.
Why it works
Stated: the recall is fought for because it keeps the dog safe and makes freedom possible, while position style is not, because the goal is function rather than looks (Egg). Stated: a command once given has to be backed up, so a handler who speaks about something they do not care about has created a fight they now have to finish (Kelton, Lola). Stated: the standard is easiest to set on day one home and harder to change after a week of letting it slide (Archie and Lola's go-home). Stated: a down for a sit is usually confusion, corrected without punishing (Thor). Stated for Bernie only: an optional task the dog is uncomfortable with is not worth pressing.
On film
We want them to be free. And you need an absolutely sickeningly, sickeningly reliable recall in order for them to have that freedom and to be safe.
we're in this for functionality we want it to be functional functional dog training we need it to work we need it to be reliable and we need it to keep them safe
So, you can give the choice point and just let her do whatever she's doing. That's totally fine. And then if you want to recall, the only thing is if you do say come, got to back it up. Now you're Now you're stuck.
you go the whole week and you're cool with it and then randomly you're like you know what i want it it to be different yeah it's gonna be a lot trickier than if it's like day one back home
so I just correct it I don't punish it because it's more just a confused thing
He does not feel comfortable. So we will leave it alone
Inferred
Not stated on film: that the rule works because every enforced command costs something - time, pressure, and for a soft or unsure dog some goodwill - so spending it only where it matters keeps the important commands strong and the dog willing. Also inferred: that the Bernie moment and the Egg rule are one idea. Bernie's reason is the dog's discomfort plus the task not mattering; Egg's is safety versus aesthetics. They share the trainer's phrase and the decision to stop fighting over an optional thing, which is why they are filed together.
Common owner mistakes
- Giving a command about something you do not actually care about, then either fighting to finish it or letting it go - both teach the wrong thing. Stated by Kelton as the trap; shown on the trainer's side with Lunna, where letting a given sit go was, in his words, a mistake.
On film
I've just now locked myself in to like making sure they do this thing that I don't care if they do or not and they don't want to do it and now they're like crying. Why did I say anything?
Watch at 51:04 ↗ If I put her in a command and truthfully, I really should have corrected what she got up there
Watch at 1:10 ↗ - Letting something slide for the first week home and then deciding to enforce it. Stated as advice at Archie and Lola's go-home, not shown happening in a particular family.
On film
you go the whole week and you're cool with it and then randomly you're like you know what i want it it to be different yeah it's gonna be a lot trickier than if it's like day one back home
Watch at 1:48 ↗
Questions owners ask
If I let things slide, won't my dog learn he can ignore me?
The trainers separate two cases. If you never gave a command - he is looking at a squirrel, he chose to lie down on his own - there is nothing to ignore, and you can let it be. If you did give one, Kelton's rule is that you back it up: 'if you do say come, got to back it up.' Not every trainer is comfortable letting small things slide even then: Baxter's trainer penalises small lapses so that the big moments hold. See conflicts.
On film
So, you can give the choice point and just let her do whatever she's doing. That's totally fine. And then if you want to recall, the only thing is if you do say come, got to back it up. Now you're Now you're stuck.
So then it's worth it to me to punish, to penalize when it wouldn't be a big deal so that when it is a big deal, they listen.
My dog lies down when I ask for a sit. Do I have to fix it?
On film several trainers say it does not matter much to them (Penny, Pepper, Piglet) while still teaching the distinction (Thor). If you decide it matters, decide on day one home, not after a week. The full answer is on why-does-he-lie-down-when-i-ask-for-sit.
On film
now if you want to be really strict about it and you're like no I told you to sit and I don't want you laying down I want you to stay sitting right then all you're gonna do is like you're gonna do it
every time they come to the house i tell people i can correct it or if you don't care yeah that's fine i don't care if he lays down or sits do you care if he lays down or sits
What should I never let slide?
On film: the recall ('their recall needs to be instant'), any command you have actually given, and behaviours with real risk - Rocky's trainer says of chasing bikes 'don't even start doing that', and Roxy's family is told the battle at the door is the bolt, not the sit.
On film
But their recall needs to be instant. So you've got to kind of pick your battles and choose what you want to fight about.
but with the bike thing it's like don't even start doing that
It can be if you don't want them to ever bolt through the door. Um, the other way to do it though is just to like if they go to bolt through the door, just like prevent them and go tap E.
My dog doesn't want to do something I asked. Should I make him?
If it was a command that matters, the trainers back it up (see should-i-repeat-the-command and dont-accept-the-almost). The one filmed case of a trainer backing off is Bernie, and the conditions were specific: an optional exercise, a dog visibly uncomfortable, and a trainer who said it was not something he cared about.
On film
Yeah, I'll pick your battles and that one's not something I care about
He does not feel comfortable. So we will leave it alone
The lesson
The goal
An owner can say, before going home, which behaviours they will always back up and which they will let go, and can avoid giving a command they will not finish.
Learn first
The drill
As run on film, this is a conversation, not an exercise: the trainer asks the family which version they want and sets it at once - 'do you care if he lays down or sits' at Archie and Lola's go-home, 'do you have a preference' at Pepper's lesson, 'do you care if he jumps on you sometimes' with Rocky. The answer decides what gets corrected from day one home.
Watch out for
- Saying a command about something you do not care about, then not finishing it.
- Changing the standard after a week of letting it slide.
- Treating 'pick your battles' as permission to let the recall go.
Check yourself
Your dog is sniffing a bush on a walk and you have not said anything. You are about to say 'come' but you are not sure you can make it happen right now. What do the trainers say to do? (Either leave the choice point alone and say nothing, or say it and back it up - not say it and let it go. watch 50:49.)